Chapter Two
18+ | Explicit content
A year or so after that blowjob in the office, life had gone backwards. I had finished a novel, and an agent at a highly regarded company had taken it on. For a moment, I imagined I could have it all: my girlfriend, my lover, my book deal. But then everything came crashing down. I lost my girlfriend, Natalia, due to the affair. No publisher had bought the book. I’d moved back into my old flat share, less than a mile away from the place I’d lived with Natalia. I had turned thirty, and what felt like a peak had been one.
After a year of toxic back and forth with Vanessa, in which she had refused to give herself to me fully, she had finally given in.
In those days, Friday evening beers after work would often turn into long, debauched nights. One night, Vanessa and I went to the pub with colleagues. There was a puppyish man, Rob, among these.
We had several drinks at the pub in Brixton and then set off for Shoreditch. Rob invited his cousin Freddy along, and we bought cocaine, drank a great deal more, and when the pubs closed the four of us went back to mine.
In the lounge, everything was green; chintzy, shimmering shades for the wallpaper, carpets and furniture.
We snorted lines off the glass topped, dark wood coffee table, drank more booze - cheap vodka now as well as beer. At some point in the early hours, Freddy announced he had to go.
Vanessa and I had discussed threesomes. I had told her that I was willing to share her with another man if we did the same with another woman. She had no real interest in that, but was excitable at the thought of two men. Now that there were just the three of us in the flat, there was an air of expectation. Rob would never leave until the night was very clearly over.
At some stage, Vanessa and I were in my room, and she stripped down to her bra and panties. She wanted me to go and tell Rob to join in, but I told her she should go.
‘What shall I say?’ she was asking.
‘Go and kiss him,’ I told her.
She disappeared into the living room, and I could hear murmured voices. She came back.
‘He’s nervous,’ she said. ‘He’s worried you don’t want him here.’
‘Get through here, Rob,’ I called out. He emerged, sheepish. He was like a little boy, partly excited, but also anxious, even a little wounded that he’d been left on his own.
‘What shall we do?’ Vanessa said. I began directing.
‘Rob, lie on the bed,’ I said. ‘Vanessa, suck his dick.’
I slid my cock into her as her head bobbed rhythmically before me.
Rob watched her sucking him, and occasionally said ‘yeah, yeah,’ with a rising, almost questioning tone.
I fucked Vanessa harder from behind, eventually coming inside her. Rob ejaculated into his own hand - he didn’t ask if he could come in her mouth, and if he had I might’ve said yes. I remember the pool of gleaming white come, cupped in his palm.
‘You better go clean that up,’ I told him.
When he came back, we switched places. Vanessa crouched over me and began sucking my dick. Rob hesitated when I told him to fuck her.
‘Really?’ he said. ‘Haven’t you just come inside her?’
‘Just fuck her,’ I told him.
He obeyed me and entered her from behind, and I felt her stiffen as his dick pushed fully inside her, as if it was filling her whole body, not just her cunt. His cock was bigger than mine, I’d noticed.
‘Fuck her, Rob’ I said,
‘Babes!’ Vanessa said, grinning.
Rob increased the energy of his thrusts. ‘Fuck,’ she said, breaking off from sucking me, working my cock alongside her face. ‘Oh Jesus.’
When she began sucking again, I pushed my dick as far as I could into her throat.
After a while, she paused again. ‘I want you both inside me,’ she said.
‘Ok,’ I replied.
Rob pulled out of her, and stood awkwardly, waiting.
‘Let’s double penetrate her,’ I told him.
‘I take it I get the arse?’ he said hopefully.
‘No chance,’ I said.
Vanessa straddled him on the bed, and I saw that it took her a moment to get him inside her. He’d gone a little soft. She leaned down and kissed him deeply, and I felt a pang of shock and excitement. It seemed to do the trick.
When I looked down, I could see the inner lips of her cunt gripping his cock, as they so often had mine. Her asshole - a neat little puckered tuck - was exposed. I spat onto it, sliding a finger into her, surprised by how open she was there.
My dick slid straight into her. ‘Fuuuck,’ she said.
While we fucked her, she occasionally leant forward to kiss Rob again.
‘I can’t believe how quickly I could fuck your arse,’ I said.
‘I’m just so turned on…’
‘How does it feel?’ I asked her.
‘Like I’m full up,’ she said.
After a while of this, she announced that she wanted us both in her mouth, and told me to go and wash my dick. Unlike Natalia, she would never suck my dick fresh from her asshole.
I went to the bathroom and washed myself thoroughly with soap. When I returned, Rob was fucking Vanessa in the missionary position, his feet on the pillows and her head hanging off the foot of the bed. He was rigid with excitement above her, and she was staring into his face.
‘Uh, I don’t think I said you could do this,’ I told them.
I felt only a minor pang of annoyance.
‘Sorry,’ they both said, scrambling up.
At some stage, I remember him licking her cunt from behind, lapping at it tentatively. Perhaps by then, none of us truly cared whose fluids were mixing with whose.
And then the night’s clarity dissolved. I remember Vanessa straddling me, hungrily riding my dick with druggy, grinding relentlessness while Rob lay on the bed beside us. And then suddenly the light was coming up behind us, Rob was leaving, and Vanessa and I eventually fell asleep.
I remember nothing about the next day at all.
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